Lost in this moment with you
by JCSwriter
Summary: She doesn’t want to do it anymore. It is just that simple.  Sara makes a major change in her life.  She and Grissom begin the next stage of their journey.  There’s a resignation.  And a wedding.  Song included.
1. Chapter 1

CSI doesn't belong to me. Not even a little bit. I just borrowed the characters and promise to put them back where I found them. Authors notes are at the end.

x x x o o o Lost in this moment with you x x x o o o

Gil was walking through the lab, head buried in a file. Ecklie had to call his name three times before he looked up.

"Sorry, what?"

Conrad rolled his eyes, "I just mentioned that you were here early tonight."

Gil nodded, "I thought I'd take Sara out to dinner after I got the team started." He started back on his way.

"Gil," Ecklie frowned, "Sara isn't at work. She called in sick just before her shift."

Gil froze in place. "She… I…" he thought quickly, "She must have come down with…"

"Griss, don't even try," Ecklie snorted. "Go check on her. I'll get your team started."

Gil started away at a fast walk, then he turned, "Thanks Conrad."

Ecklie walked passed him, "I told you we could have worked this out. You can't help who you fall in love with. Just ask my first wife. Go."

X X X O O O

"Sara?"

"Hi."

"Where are you?"

"Home."

Click.

"Ecklie."

"Ecklie, Grissom."

"You find her?"

"Yeah, she's at home. Look I think I'm coming down with… whatever it is she said she has."

"Got it. Keep me informed."

X X X O O O

Gil let himself in the front door and let out a deep sigh of relief, "God you scared me. I got to work and you weren't there…"

"Sorry. Didn't think about that until I got back here."

Sara was sitting on the couch with the dog sprawled across her lap. She was rubbing his ears and he was in ecstasy. The dog let out a long low moan. She smiled, "You're so easy."

"Rub my ears like that and see how easy I could be," Gil teased over the lump in his throat.

Her smile faded and she let her head fall to the back of the sofa.

And the lump in his throat grew. "Sara what is wrong? Please talk to me."

"I just couldn't do it today," she said.

"What?"

"Work," she sighed as she nudged the dog to get down. Gil instantly took his place. He slipped an arm behind her head and caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I just couldn't deal with it today. It was all I could do to get up and get dressed. The thought of working a scene today just seemed too overwhelming. So I just started driving." Tears welled up and spilled. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what?" there was fear and anguish in his voice. "Us?"

She turned to meet his gaze. "No Gil. God no. 'Us' is the only good thing in my life. And that's the problem. I'm starting to dread going to work every day. I hate swing. It's not a team. And it's more than that. I am so sick of death. Of crime. Of all of it. I don't want to do it anymore." Her voice broke.

"So don't," he said as he pulled her to rest against his chest. "Don't honey."

"So what do I do? This is the only work I know."

He smiled into her hair, "Sara you have a degree from Harvard. You could teach." She snorted. "Or research. Or write a novel. Take some time to explore your options. I'll feed you." He kissed her forehead. "I can cover the rent and anything else that we need. We'll be fine."

"Oh I don't know," Sara moaned. "I… A kept woman?"

"Hmm, I do like the sound of that," he grinned.

"I could take a leave of absence," she said, then took a shuddering breath, "But I can't imagine going back there." Another tear slipped out .

"So don't. Quit. Stop trying to rationalize it. Just quit." Gil pulled back to face her eye to eye. "Just promise that you won't quit me."

"Never." She leaned over and kissed him firmly.

"Marry me," he murmured against her mouth.

"I already said I would," she replied.

"I mean today. Or tomorrow. Then I can get you on my insurance right away. Ecklie is still in the office, or he was a few minutes ago. Let's go." She looked up as he leapt to his feet. "Don't think. Just follow your instincts. Let's go."

Then she nodded, "OK. Let's go."

X X X O O O

He left her with Ecklie to go down to the personnel office and pick up the necessary paperwork. Then he went down to the morgue.

"Al, got a minute?"

"Sure."

X X X O O O

Gil was on his way back to Ecklie's office when he saw the man standing outside of the women's rest room looking distressed.

"Ecklie?"

"Oh Grissom thank God. Where the hell did you go?"

"What's wrong?"

"She cried," Ecklie sounded so shocked that Grissom just stood there and smirked. "Don't stand there grinning like an idiot, go in there and fix it."

"She's human. And female. She does cry on occasion." Grissom said. But he pushed open the door to the restroom. "Sara, honey, you OK?"

"Yeah," she turned from the sink patting her face dry. "Sorry."

"I'm sorry," Ecklie replied as they went back into his office. "I never would have complimented your work if I knew it would make you cry."

She laughed, "Sorry." She and Gil took the seats in front of Conrad's desk as he sank into his chair.

"Stop apologizing," Ecklie ordered. "Can I do anything to change your mind? I could look into getting you back on nights or…"

Gil shook her head, "It's not the shift, it's the work. She's done."

"OK," Conrad sighed deeply. "I'll file the paperwork tonight. You going to clean out your locker tonight?"

"Wait," Gil protested. "She's just giving notice."

"I have over three weeks of comp time built up," Sara gripped his arm. "I'm done. Just like you said."

"So this is it?" he asked.

"This is it," she smiled.

"Well except for…"

"Yeah."

"What?" Ecklie asked.

Sara turned and smiled at him, "You busy in the morning?"

"Depends on what else you're going to spring on me tonight."

X X X O O O

"You want to take me to breakfast," Catherine said.

"Yes," Grissom nodded.

"And you have to drive."

"Yes."

"OK," Catherine slid her purse onto her shoulder.

"Hey Cat," Warrick greeted as he and Nick joined them. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast," Catherine nodded.

"Where's Greggo?" Nick asked.

"Brass is bringing him," Gil said.

"So how come Brass gets to know where we're going?" Warrick asked.

"You'll see," Gil replied.

X X X O O O

"This is a chapel," Catherine stated the obvious.

"Go in. Get a seat up front," Gil urged.

"What the hell is going on," Cat demanded.

Warrick snickered, "Cat my guess is we are about to witness an historical event."

Nick froze in the doorway, "We're not dressed right for this," he looked down at his jeans and button down shirt. "I still smell from the last scene."

"I don't think it matters," Warrick replied and shoved him inside.

Inside, David and Al sat in the front pew. The chapel was simple and beautiful. Wood floors with a dark blue runner between the pews. Multi colored flowers in simple glass vases and cream colored candles were scattered throughout the sanctuary. Al gestured for them to come forward.

"Which side?" Nick asked.

"There's only the five of us so you three sit over there," Al ordered, pointing to the groom's side opposite him.

"Six," Conrad Ecklie came in and walked up to sit behind Al and David.

"Ah-hem," the minister stepped out from the back. "I would like to thank you all for joining us today. We'll begin in just a moment."

After a minute, a woman walked up to the organ and began to play. From one side, Gil walked out. He had changed into a suit and was in the process of tightening his tie. He smiled at the group at large. Then he took his place in front of the minister. He greeted the other man and shook his hand. Then he turned.

The organist began to play the classic wedding march and the six witnesses rose. Greg came first. He was still in his khaki pants but he'd slipped a jacket on over his t-shirt. He walked steadily up to the front.

"What are you supposed to be?" Nick asked in a loud whisper

"Man of honor," Greg replied steadily and went to his place across from Grissom.

Then Sara appeared. She was wearing a cream colored short sleeved dress that fell to just above her knee. Sheer over silk, simple and beautiful. No veil, her hair was unadorned. In one hand she carried a small bouquet of a variety of colored roses and baby's breath. The other hand rested in the crook of Jim Brass's elbow. Her eyes were bright with tears, but she smiled.

"Oh my God," Gil murmured. "So beautiful."

_I see your momma, and the candles and tears and roses  
I see your daddy walk his daughter down the aisle  
Now my knees start to tremble as I tell the preacher  
Don't she look beautiful tonight _

Jim led her to the front of the chapel where he kissed her cheek gently and whispered into her ear. She smiled and kissed him back. Then he handed her over to Gil and took a his place at Gil's side. Sara handed her bouquet to Greg who winked at her with a smile. Then Gil and Sara stood facing each other, hand in hand.

_All the wonderful words in my head I've been thinking  
You know I want to say 'em all just right  
I lift your veil, and angels start singing  
Such a heavenly sight_

"Friends, family, we gather here to witness the joining of two lives, two hearts, two souls, into one. Please be seated."

_Lost in this moment with you  
I am completely consumed  
my feelings so absolute,  
there's no doubt  
Sealing our love with a kiss  
waited my whole life for this  
Watching all my dreams come true  
Lost in this moment with you _

"I Gilbert Grissom do take you Sara Sidle to be my wife."

"I Sara Sidle do take you Gilbert Grissom to be my husband."

_I smell the jasmine floating in the air like a love song  
Watch my words draw sweet tears from your eyes  
Bow our heads while the preacher talks to Jesus  
Please bless this brand new life _

"I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my life."

"I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my life."

There was a moment of comic relief as Jim patted down every pocket of his suit trying to remember where he'd secured the rings. Then he produced them with a wipe of his forehead. Gil chuckled at him then turned back to Sara. "Please accept this ring as a token of my undying love and affection."

Greg had the ring on his thumb which he gave to Sara. "Please accept this ring as a token of my undying love and affection."

_Yeah I spend this moment with you  
I am completely consumed _

"If anyone present knows why these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

"AAAH-CHOOO."

Gil leaned to the side to glare at Greg.

"Sorry. Roses."

"Are you done?"

"Yes. No. Ah-CHOO!"

Conrad got up, handed Greg a handkerchief, and took the roses away from him. "Stop. Now."

"Yes, sir."

_my feelings so absolute,  
there's no doubt  
Sealing our love with a kiss  
Waited my whole life for this  
Watching all my dreams come true  
Lost in this moment with you _

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Gil leaned to her and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you."

_Yeah I spend this moment with you  
I am completely consumed _

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert Grissom."

The others rose to applaud loudly. As Gil and Sara started back up the aisle, the organist clicked on a CD. Gil froze as he recognized the fast paced "Flight of the Bumblebee".

"Surprise," Sara smiled. "I couldn't think of anything more appropriate."

Gil kissed her again, "Again I say it, I love you."

"I love you too," Sara said as she took the roses back from Ecklie.

_Lost in this moment with you  
I am completely consumed  
My feelings so absolute,  
there's no doubt  
Sealing our love with a kiss  
Waitin' my whole life for this  
Watching all my dreams come true  
Lost in this moment with you _

Lost in the moment, (in the moment) in this moment with you  
Lost in the moment, yeah  
OOOOH Lost in the moment, (in the moment) in this moment with you  
Lost in the moment, yeah 

X X X O O O

They had gathered in their usual breakfast spot. Ecklie had offered his congratulations, but had declined to join them.

"I can't believe you didn't tell m..us," Catherine said as they settled in.

"We planned it very quickly," Gil replied as he pulled up an extra couple of chairs.

Catherine caught Sara's hand to examine the rings. She looked from them to Gil.

"Well those I've had for awhile," Gil admitted.

"So what was the rush?" Warrick subtly glanced down at Sara's stomach.

She looked to Gil who nodded. "We've been talking for awhile. But we did it today because we wanted to combine all the major announcements into one." She took a deep breath. "I resigned yesterday."

"What?"

"NO!"

"It was time," Sara said. "I need a change. For a very long time this job has been my whole life. I need to see what's out there."

"What are you going to do?" Nick asked.

"I don't know yet," she answered. "I haven't been back to San Francisco since I got here."

"So you two get married and you're going to just leave," Catherine was furious. Glaring hotly at the younger woman. "How could you?"

Sara actually flinched back.

"HEY," Gil shifted to move between the two women. He scowled angrily at Catherine.

Sara reached out and gripped his hand. Grissom took a leveling breath, "Actually we've talked about doing some traveling. I have almost four weeks leave that I have to take by the end of the year or I'll loose it. I'm going to work out this week then take a month off. We promised to go see my mother," he trailed off. "Ecklie's already approved it."

"So, Sara, are you working out a two week notice," Nick asked after an awkward silence.

"No," Sara shook her head. "My resignation was effective immediately. I'll be on payroll for another six weeks or so with my accumulative leave. But I won't be back to work. I…" her voice broke.

"Can't do it anymore," Greg finished for her.

"I'm not happy there anymore. And I finally decided that I deserve to be happy."

"Of course you do," Warrick said.

"Just make sure you don't disappear," Nick added.

"Never," Sara smiled. "After all I married the boss, I can't go too far."

Grissom took her hand and lifted it to his lips.

X X X O O O

NOTES Song is "Lost in the Moment" by Big & Rich. As soon as I heard it, I knew it would end up being a perfect wedding song. By next year it will probably be played at every reception in town.

I have read a lot of stuff on the web since the announcement was made. You know which one. People starting petitions and letter writing campaigns. But what it boils down to is she doesn't want to do the show anymore. She's not happy there. She wants to see what else there is in life. And she doesn't owe anyone anything. Let's just admit the show won't be the same without her but recognize it is her life and wish her well.

Not to be abrasive, but I won't even ask for reviews. A writer writes because he/she has no choice. You write for yourself. If there was any other way to spend your time, you'd do it. It's great to have a response, believe me. But the people who write for reviews always sound a bit desperate to me. Especially those who end each chapter with a demand for reviews before they will continue. So I am content at this point. I got this out of me. That said, I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, this would not go away. And I thought I was done. Maybe now. Maybe not.

x x x o o o Lost in this moment with you x x x o o o

Later that morning they walked into their bedroom. Sara kicked off her shoes with a groan, "Now I remember why I never wear shoes like these."

"Yeah," Grissom smiled as he yanked off his tie. "But you looked gorgeous."

"You're my husband, you have to say that."

"You're my wife, you have to believe me."

She smiled at him, "I'm a wife."

"I'm a husband," he grinned and spun around in place. "Do I look different?"

"A bit."

He pulled her close and kissed her soundly. When he leaned back slightly, she had a contemplative look on her face. "What?"

"I just realized… I committed myself to you and I've never felt so free. It was such an amazing, beautiful day and it feels like the start of my life. I can do anything. With you, your support, I can really do anything. Anything."

"We could have a baby," he said.

"A baby?"

He nodded, "I saw Warrick look at your belly. And thought we could. If we do it soon. Neither of us are getting any younger. But we could… what?" His eyes went wide, "I was just talking…"

"We're married. Paperwork is all filed. And the timing is right."

"You mean today?"

"Gil, I quit my job and we got married, all in the space of less then a day."

"So let's go three for three," he took her hand and turned her slowly. When she was facing away from him, he kissed the back of her neck as he unfastened her dress.

_Lost in this moment with you  
I am completely consumed  
My feelings so absolute,  
there's no doubt  
Sealing our love with a kiss  
Waitin' my whole life for this  
Watching all my dreams come true  
Lost in this moment with you _

X X X O O O

Greg bounced into Gil's office five weeks later. "Where is it?"

Gil looked at him over the rim of his glasses, "What?"

"Come on, Gris. Sara told me you had a surprise for me. Something from San Francisco."

"Oh this?" Gil tossed over a paper bag.

Greg opened it and pulled out a T-shirt, "Oh co-ool." He yanked off the shirt he was wearing and pulled on his new black shirt advertising Fisherman's Wharf. "Thanks Boss!"

"Hey new shirt?" Nick asked as he walked in.

Gil pulled out more bags, "Give these out for me. Yours is in there."

"Thanks man. How's Sara?"

"She's fine," Greg answered. "Talked to her this afternoon. Her phone number hasn't changed." His shoulder slammed Nick's as he left the office.

"Sorry," Nick said. "I just figured you two needed some time. That she needed a break from all of this."

"She needed to get away from the job, Nick. Not from the people."

"I got it. I'll give her a call. Thank her for the shirt," Nick ducked out with the bags.

"Good idea."

X X X O O O

Greg walked back in to Gil's office an hour later. Gil was sitting staring at a small toy in his hands.

"Gris… You OK?"

Gil nodded and sat the teddy bear on the edge of his desk.

"Never pictured you as a teddy bear man."

"Every moment changes everything, Greg."

Greg reached over and touched the top of the bear, "Grissom?" a smile slowly spread across his face. "Is she…?"

Gil nodded. Then he too began to smile. "She said we're not supposed to tell people yet. It's too soon. She also said I can't buy anything yet. But…"

"Hey Gil, thanks for the shirt," Warrick entered. "So what's new.

X X X O O O

Three hours later, Gil's cell phone rang. "Hello my wife. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Gilbert Grissom, what did I tell you when we left the doctor's office this afternoon."

"As it is now two thirty am, it was technically yesterday afternoon. And as I recall, you had to keep telling me to breathe."

She took a deep breath, "I told you that it was too early to start buying things or telling people. So I was a bit surprised when I called Greg and he congratulated me."

"So I told Greg."

"Yeah. And based on the text messages and e-mails I've been getting over the last few hours, you've told everyone else in the lab." She paused, "Jim already knew. And I assumed you called Al about what I should or should not be doing. But who is Celeste?"

"Girl working the front desk tonight."

"Oh Gil," she sighed. "OK my husband. But please don't tell anyone else, OK?"

"My wife, I don't think I know anyone else."

"I love you."

"I love you. Go get some sleep."

"Go catch the bad guys."

X X X O O O

Two months later, Greg again found Gil sitting in his office. This time when he walked in, Gil met his gaze with a somewhat shocked smile. Then Greg noticed the bear, that had never left it's place next to Gil's phone, had been joined by a second one.

"Twins?"

"Twins."

"Just breathe, Gris."

X X X O O O

"Breathe Sara. Come on. Breathe, my wife."

She panted twice, then groaned.

"And here we go," the doctor said. "First one is… out. It's a boy."

There was only a few minutes to rest before it started again.

"And here is your daughter." Sara moaned and let her head fall back to Gil's shoulder.

X X X O O O

"Can we come in?" Greg asked.

"Sure," Sara smiled.

The door opened wide to admit everyone

"So introduce us to these two," Jim asked as he sat gingerly down on the edge of the hospital bed. Gil sat at Sara's side. Each of them held a newborn.

"Matthew. Matthew Gilbert." Sara nuzzled the baby in her arms.

"Good, now I can officially blame you for that," Gil said.

Sara chuckled, "There is nothing wrong with your name, Gilbert."

"Easy for you to say Sara," Gil replied. "And this is Elizabeth Anne."

"Can I hold one?" Catherine wanted to know

The babies were handed around and cooed over. Gil rose to supervise and Greg took his place to hug Sara.

"Well she definitely has Sara's nose and chin," Warrick observed.

"And he's got Gil's ears," Nick said.

"What I want to know is how they both ended up with Greg's hair," Gil asked as he stroked the long standing up by the roots strands on his son's head.

Greg just grinned and leaned over to kiss Sara's temple. "You did great, Sara."

"Thanks Greg."

Gil smiled at her over the group gathered in their room, "I love you, my wife," he mouthed.

"I love you my husband," she replied silently.

_Lost in this moment with you  
I am completely consumed  
My feelings so absolute,  
there's no doubt  
Sealing our love with a kiss  
Waitin' my whole life for this  
Watching all my dreams come true  
Lost in this moment with you _

The end… and the beginning…


End file.
